Adultery and Fornication..what's good?

Of course as always, my desire is to ultimately communicate Christ's perspective, not my own, and I welcome any and all criticism and support.

Adultery and Fornication, as unsavory as these two items may be(for discussion purposes) there is a great need concerning a clear understanding of them and what we can do to change our behavior. My specific burden is for the young men. It needs to be communicated amongst us that these are not desirable qualities. Sounds elementary doesn't it, but it's far from that, fornication and adultery as principles as well as practice run rampant throughout our culture and society. I remember growing up, learning the ropes, how to be good at the practice, the "game", receiving the accolades and praise of my peers. The callus regard for my significant others solidarity when I was in a relationship. I'm not the brightest tool in the shed, but I'm far from a dull blade, how could I stray so far from what I believe is right and decent and forget my obligations to God altogether. The root of the answer is simple, culture and education. The lack or presence of these two things has destroyed countless people and lives throughout history, and we are no different. Our culture must change. No one educates us(young men) "clearly" on what these two behavioral acts actually are in this society. Primarily because of the absence of "God culture". Sure there are many books and quite a bit of reference material on the topics but these are subjective issues, not objective, that is, I should say, personal...this is not business, this is our very lives being destroyed before our eyes with very destructive personal experiences. The only way to leap from this cesspool of cultural detritus is to call it what it is, and embrace the truth of our disposition. From this point we, the older more experienced men should HONESTLY communicate where we've been, what we've done and most importantly, what we are doing now that we know the truth. We must choose to be something other than what we've been. Only in this way can we recover our true heritage and culture, which is in God, not the flesh or human tradition. We must be humble enough to admit that we can't overcome this mess alone, only through Christ can we HOPE to become the men we want to be.

Now, as Christians it is most critical that we observe Christ's desire and will above all other things concerning this matter. So, although it's common knowledge that fornication and and adultery are both immoral and against the will of God I felt the need to erase any doubts with scripture, Exodus 20:14 is the most reference able verse; "Thou shalt not commit adultery", but the verse that communicates the message I am delivering is this one from Proverbs 6:32; "He who commits adultery with a woman lacks sense, he who does destroys his own soul, he will find wounds and dishonor and his reproach will not be wiped away", wow, that doesn't sound good at all does it. Fornication is adultery's twin brother, first Corinthians 6:13 says; "Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will bring to naught both it and them, the body is not for fornication but for the Lord and the Lord for the body". In the event that there was some confusion created by that scripture's opening I will clarify. The purpose for the correlation between food and the stomach is to identify purpose, the stomach's purpose is for food, if there was no need for food there would be no need for a stomach. Likewise or correspondingly the body is for the Lord, our purpose is for the Lord, we are meant to contain and serve the Lord Jesus Christ, married or not. Our very bodies referred to as vessels and temples by the Lord. The primary point is this, fornication and adultery defile the temple or container. A defiled container cannot hold what it was designed to hold. Christ's recognition of the status of oneness in a marriage is what changes the behavior from fornication to adultery. Clearly the Lord's desire is that neither be committed, for his sake, the sake of the Gospel. The Gospel is the primary thing, when we, "the container" are defiled or damaged we corrupt our ability to transmit the message, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

So having this clear understanding of God's desire towards us concerning this matter let us examine how these behaviors effect us and those around us. Both behaviors have the same root in selfishness. Selfishness is the opposite of being selfless, which is Christ's character. Personal experience has shown me that it's not the absence of love that allows these behaviors, or even to some degree knowledge, no, it is an overwhelming yet somehow subtle sense of selfishness. I say subtle because I know from personal experience very few of us considered the practice selfish, it simply seemed to be the way things were. I remember my cousin giving me a speech just before I was married in 1996 concerning the behavior of a married man. In this speech he informed me that I was a man, and a man is going to be a man, meaning I would continue to to seek sex and whatever else I wanted from other women, that the important thing was to keep it out of my home, or not to fall victim to being found out. This offended me more, I think, than anything anyone had ever said to me concerning relationships, truth is, he was my most respected cousin and greatest source of information concerning women, consequently he had the greatest subjective(personal) influence anyone could have on me. Is he responsible for for my heinous behavior as the years went on, no, of course not, but he did help me take the fence down around my castle, and someone helped him, someone helps us all. Anyone observing my wife and I at that time would have clearly seen we were in love, how could I allow that to be destroyed? Knowledge is power is what we say. The Bible says in Hosea 4:6; "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge". Knowledge is not power, knowledge creates opportunity to express what is inside a man. A lack of it leaves a man with only his circumstances and the culture he is surrounded by. Having love is wonderful, God is love, but being unable to express it because of a lack of knowledge is disastrous. Love is not enough apart from knowledge, but we must first have love. I have always acclimated the status of a relationship to that of a stock holder and his shares. When dealing with stocks a broker advises one to diversify their portfolio, that is to spread one's assets to do two things, to generate more wealth as well as protect oneself from loosing it all in one failed swoop. Many of us follow this diagram in our relationships as common practice unknowingly. We diversify our "portfolio" with many different women, we learn to do this at a very early age and become very proficient at it as we grow older. It is a practice encouraged by most of our elders and we receive much praise for being successful at it. The most unfortunate thing about this selfish practice is it works, at least carnally, but success in this way is a monumental failure before the Lord. It is the grandest gateway to fornication we participate in. We share ourselves with everyone but never fully commit to one relationship, abandoning all others. We are the Lord's, it is God's desire that we don't diversify our "portfolio". His desire towards us is that we would at our earliest age put all our proverbial "eggs" in one basket...his. That rather than learn to diversify our relationships we should commit to one sincere subjective relationship with him. Success in this singular relationship with Jesus will provide the diagram, wisdom and experience to sustain a righteous relationship with the opposite sex as well as a true oneness with a spouse.

Our familiarity with adultery and fornication is most often associated with the physical act of sex, but with God it goes much further than that. Everything that exists in our physical world is an expression of what IS in the spirit. A good example of this would be a table or a car. Somewhere in the intangible person's being a need is identified, then a thought and finally a picture of what is desired to meet that need or want. Then it is produced or manufactured. It first exists in the mind and then it is brought into our physical realm by action. In Matthew 5:28 it says; "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"(KJV), the point of this scripture is to identify that it's the thought that counts. The adultery actually takes place in the heart, not the flesh, the flesh reveals what's in the heart. Christ's concern is for what is in our heart and minds. This is why our focus should be on the renewing of our minds as is stated in Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God". I included the beginning of that verse for the purpose of identifying our fornicating and adultery is not unusual in this world, it's normal. So adultery is less of an act than it is who we are. When we practice these behaviors we simply reveal what is present within us. That is Christ's concern. Not what we do, but who we are.

The destruction of relationships is widely regarded as the main result of fornication and adultery, but that's not the case. It is true that our relationships become causualties of these behaviors but the most devistating thing that occurs is the Gospel does not continue to spread. Our bodies are the temples of God, the vessels that contain his Spirit. We are the walking talking Church of God. His Gospel goes forth because we speak, because we act, we are the instruments of his will. Think of your children, their potential, what they can do in this world because they "know" something. How much joy does that produce in you. Then think of watching that potential being endangered by drugs or anything else that damages their body, their mind. That is just a fortaste of what Jehovah experiences as he watches us destroy our ability to contain the Holy Spirt and take the Gospel to the world as Christ instructed. His love for us is so much more intense than we could ever imagine, how much more must he endure the pain as we hurt ourselves. We must abandon this behavior, turn to Christ and repent, be cleansed be filled with his Spirit so that we may have salvation, but more importantly for the sake of the Gospel.

Summarizing, I believe that a clear representation of these behaviors is revealed in the preceding paragraphs. There is no need to go into great detail about the specific acts that we are familiar with concerning these behaviors for the acts themselves may vary greatly, but the root is always the same. If we are to change our behavior we have to address the root, not the the branches of the tree. Our efforts cannot be to change our behavior but rather to change who we are and observe that our behavior changes when we inwardly change. Only when our hearts change will our behavior change, and it's a process. God knows this. For this reason he has offered us Grace and his righteousness, because we can not do it ourselves, the Bible says that God's grace is sufficient, I will take it one step further and say that it is the only grace available to us. Man's grace is vain and temporary, we should avoid it unless that man is expressing the grace that has been extended to him through Christ. That man is in Christ and represents Christ, that grace is not vain. If you have been patient enough to read all of this then you may feel that I am off topic at this point, but let me assure you I am not. The purpose of this blog is to educate, but it is not enough to educate without giving the proper understanding, especially when referencing a problem. The behaviors of adultery and fornication have their root in the human condition(fall from grace) but can be remedied by receiving the grace that God has given us freely, by allowing him to renew our minds through study of his word, yielding to his spirit and rejecting our flesh, but above all else receiving the grace. His grace will cover us through the process of changing, and is sufficient to cover all our mistakes, willful or not, as we embrace the inward change that will come in his time.

Will You Marry Me

Marriage, so much can be said about the institution today, with a great deal of the pertinent information covered by an ominous veil, leaving all those who dare look deeper with a sense of fear, dismay or even disbelief...or completely the opposite, bubbly carefree seekers of whatever may come with their significant other, regardless of the obstacles or very well documented failure rates...and then there are the middle of the roaders who intellectualize the interaction between man and woman to form something more like a business than a holy union. Where does that leave us? Well that depends on who you are, and what your faith is. I speak from the Christian perspective and no other, I have no faith in another...from this singular perspective I will accurately define just what a marriage is. How can I be so sure? It is not my definition, it's his...God's. There is a very obvious need for knowledge, clearly we do not know what we're doing, our marriages fail constantly, and of the one's that don't end in divorce many are devoid of the union Christ "desires". Who does anything without knowing what they are doing and expects success...only fools and gamblers, we have been both, especially myself...upon whom I will bestow the title of world class fool (with honors) concerning this particular topic. So, what is a marriage? Simply put it is the union of a man and a woman by God, witnessed by man. Yes, there has to be a witness, someone must be aware of your proclamation before God, in actuality the overseeing minister or Reverend fit's this bill. Typically he/she is the one with the most accurate knowledge of what is being requested of the two entering the union and ensures that they both know and understand what they are undertaking, hence...the vows. Of course, the most important elements of this union are God himself, and the couple seeking to become one. God, of course is without reproach and is the perfect element of this equation leaving us with the couple. A man and a woman seeking to become one. Mark 10:8 says "And they two shall be one flesh: so then they are no more two, but one flesh.". This can not be overstated. God is saying to us that when we enter into that union we become one person, ONE person. There is no, my or your any more, only our. This is not something you have to take upon yourself to become, this is his work, his power makes you one person, before Christ you are viewed as one living person from the moment you make that pledge. For this reason he further compounds this union with other scriptures like Ephesians 5:25 which says " Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it",.......and Eph 5:28 "So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.", wow, is this truly what we seek when we seek a wife? It's Christ's command, it's his heart, his loving request. There are also specific commands or requests for the wife such as Ephesians 5:22 which says " Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.", as well as Colossians 3:18 which states "Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." I called all of these scriptures requests or commands, requests because Christ is asking this of us, commands because if we do not obey death will follow, not a physical,carnal one, a death in our spirit, in our heart, our mind but death nonetheless. Many of us when presented with Christ's true desires for us concerning marriage rebel, get in our feelings, refuse on some carnal basis, refuse because of the quality of our significant other, these things only indicate our desire to be united with this person is rooted in us(our flesh), not in Christ. If we are rooted in Christ we will obey, not for our sake, but for his, in loving obedience because of his sacrifice. Trust me, these words sting me as much or more than anyone reading, I've been there and failed, even with a significant amount of knowledge failure is inevitable if you look away from Christ and at anything else....such as, you or your circumstances...anything other than his desire and will towards us. The highest calling is to serve Christ. Marriage isn't second to that, it's one with that calling, for in serving your spouse you serve Christ. Your service to your spouse is the most relevant reflection of your service to Christ that exists. I've always been blown away by the husband or wife that's more devoted to their church assembly than to their spouse, that's a case of misplaced priorities. You never put them before Christ, but you can't leave "you" behind either, remember, he doesn't see a man and a woman anymore, he only sees one person, how foolish would "half" a person arriving at a church assembly appear, this is what Christ sees when we are divided. She is you and you are her. It's literal, not figurative. So marriage is a very definitive thing, it's not blurry or confusing, it has absolute parameters and exact specifications as well as an objective. Happiness is not the objective, service to Christ is the objective, through that service he gives us happiness, otherwise our happiness is relative to our quality of life, not Christ's life and desire for us. So what's this magnificent formula for a real marriage that is right and just before God and will not dry up and wither. It must begin with an individual walk with Christ, a personal relationship between a man or woman and Christ himself. Meaning they know him, know his word and his heart. Absolute obedience doesn't exist, that's why we have grace (and it's sufficient), but we can know and love him genuinely regardless of our lives being in order, our task is not to be perfect, but to be in him perfectly, simply put to know him and love him. A man and a woman of this posture come together and recognize the way Christ expresses himself through the other, they fall in love with that expression, the inward person, not the life of that person, but the life of Christ in them. Exploration of their natural attraction ensues(which must be there) and they decide together whether they are willing to obey God and submit their lives to him in truth and spirit becoming one flesh. Once agreed they go before their fellow man and submit that they are to be married......at which point we have a husband and a wife, united by God, in God, trusting God. Marriage is itself a reflection of the relationship between the body (church) and Christ. Which is why the word constantly refers to the church as the "bride". The righteous marriage will be the one where the wife and the husband truly walk in parallel to the proper relationship between the the church and Christ. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not excluding all of the wonderful accents of a relationship between a man and woman, the flowers , the courting, lovemaking and basic sharing of ones life with another, what I'm suggesting is that a real relationship with Christ is all that and more. This is something that is very close to my heart, but more importantly, Christ's heart. Having been a part of a failed marriage and experiencing the "death" of that "one" person God united has been the single most defining experience in my life. I have educated myself on this because I want to be married again, I want to experience that union and have Christ truly at it's center so that we may serve him together. I believe in it, in him, and more than anything...I know that if we love Christ truly, and allow him to be Lord of our lives, he will become in totality the substance of our marriages and our lives....and Christ does not fail. Amen

Without Fail

I recently viewed the major motion picture "The Book of Eli". Denzel Washington stars as the main character against a post apocalyptic world where he is the sole possessor of the final copy of the Holy Bible. How interesting is this movie...quite, but I would have to say that the most haunting moment of the film to me is very brief and might be quite insignificant to the average viewer. This is no spoiler, so read on...when asked whether he read the bible every day by the most significant of a few supporting characters he responded simply, and I quote "without fail". Yes, simply without fail, but the response struck me as if a two by four had fallen out of the sky onto my head. You see, as a Christian man the Bible represents all that is real in this life, all that is true, it is the rock, for you see it is the word of God, which according to scripture itself...is God. If I have accepted this as true, then my response to that very same question should undoubtedly be the same, but of course it is not. I rarely read my bible but have been blessed to be able to recall virtually all the truths that I have read to guide me...which still unfortunately is subject to my will. Nevertheless, my awareness of the value of the Word of God should, I think, cause a very real desire to be immersed and involved in it's consumption every waking day. I should hope that it doesn't take a war torn world absent of the amenities we all enjoy to cause me to view what is truly our only treasure as it should be. So, I shall endeavor to follow the example set by Paul, Titus and now a fictitious character named Eli...so that I may be found immersed in God's Word as commanded, not for religious reasons...no no no, simply because I know the value of the treasure we have in our possession......